Time to get serious about protecting science

As another year slips by, Russ Swan says it is high time to drop the pretence and get serious about protecting science.

It’s a new year and, to celebrate another successful orbit around our host star, a traditional time to make a number of vague promises to ourselves about ways in which we will become better people from now on.

My main resolution this year concerns tolerance. In short, I’ve had enough of it and resolve henceforth to be less indulgent and more critical of the daily stupidities that confront us all. In particular, I think it’s time to take the initiative against the purveyors of darkness, starting with those who attempt to appropriate the power of science to further their nefarious intent.

It goes against my nature, but the fact is that smiling indulgently while some whack jobs explain their alternate versions of reality, dismissing centuries of learning in the process, is no longer good enough. This isn’t my first completed orbit, and it isn’t the first time I’ve been disappointed at the apparent inability of truth to outshine ignorance. So I’ve resolved to give it a little helping hand. We can start by bringing the force of law into action, to protect the good name of science. I mean, quite literally, to protect the name of science. They’ve done it for Melton Mowbray pork pies, and Camembert cheese, so why not for the accumulated knowledge of humankind?

Protected designations are everywhere these days, and we already have some of them working for us. Any old fool can call themselves a scientist, or a chemist, or a biologist – and it seems obvious that many old fools do. But should they have the temerity to call themselves a chartered or registered scientist or technician, (or chartered chemist, etc) they can expect to feel the full might of the Science Council bearing down on them. Now, I don’t personally know anybody on the Science Council, and I’ve no reason to think they are anything other than diligent and genuine in their mission to ‘advance science and the application of science’ [I do, and yes they are! Ed]. But is this going far enough? Have they been too timid – too accommodating – in the protection of titles? A broader brush is needed, to prevent any of the massed ranks of charlatans from describing themselves as scientists, or their made-up institutions as conducting anything like science. If you were to open a shop selling ‘Champayne’ or ‘Kamembert’ or ‘Milton Mowber pork pies’, you can bet you’d have a posse of lawyers on your case pretty darned quick. You’d be hauled up in court and accused of ‘passing-off’, a fairly easy to understand charge that is related to fraud.

Delightfully, the ruling precedent in cases of passing off is known as the ‘moron in a hurry’. This implies that fraud is not being perpetrated if most people would recognise the difference between the genuine article and a cheap imitation. Most people, that is, except the proverbial imbecile running for a train. In some related trades, designations already enjoy much more protection. It is a criminal offence to call yourself a pharmacist, or your emporium a pharmacy, unless it is appropriately registered with the Royal Pharmaceutical Society (in the UK; other bodies elsewhere). It is equally illegal to call yourself an environmental health officer if you aren’t registered with that profession’s own chartered institute.

Fair enough. We all want to be sure that our paracetamol is genuine, and the local takeaway has been properly inspected. But why should we tolerate a lower threshold of credibility for scientific knowledge than for pill vendors and mouse catchers? The fact is that when it comes to understanding truth, a substantial portion of the population seem to be morons. And they are all late. How else do we explain the popularity of what can only be described as voodoo science – anything involving ghosts or other imaginary friends, telekinesis, cold fusion, Loch Ness monsters or perpetual motion.

It falls on us to share the enlightenment, and throw a spotlight on the wilful ignorance that would otherwise take over. If it isn’t science, we mustn’t let them call it science. If we don’t stop the rot now, we’ll end up in a situation like our cousins the engineers, for whom every geezer in a white van who takes a spanner to a washing machine is considered of equal status.

Unless we want the same to happen to science, it’s time for a little intolerance. Happy New Year.